Why is it so hard to move on from your ex? Why don’t you give the new guy/girl a chance?


Relationships are very interesting and the things that people do in them can sometimes confuse you. Something that always comes up in conversation is why it’s so hard to move on. Another way to think about it is, why is it so hard to move away from your past and into your future?

His

In most cases we see this in women when dealing with the wrong guy. Wrong guy as in the wrong guy for them. A man can mess over a woman a hundred times and she will continuously give him chance and chance again. You take that same woman, introduce her to a new guy who has what she wants, but because of the unknown she runs. It’s like women will give the wrong guy a million chances to show he’s wrong, but won’t give a new guy 1 chance to show he can be right. I get it, we all have a fear of the unknown to a certain degree. Face it, most of us are unwilling to learn a new persons habits, behaviors etc. However, it makes more sense to cut off the one who has shown you his hand and negative intentions. At least the new guy is not only starting with a clean slate, but also giving you one.

Most guys who can cheat or just mess over you multiple times won’t stop. Why would he? Especially when that guy already knows you’re going to take him back. You have to treat dating and your heart like your job. When something isn’t right for you then you have to work for the things that are. If nothing else you should love yourself enough to give your heart a chance to experience true love, not to be a doormat. This isn’t just biased to women because I’ve seen men do this as well because of the benefits they receive or even because they know the patterns. If you see and know the patterns and they don’t change, why make unhappiness your comfort zone?

 

Hers

Well to be open and honest, there’s a few risk factors when it comes to someone new. First to me it’s all about chemistry! If we don’t have chemistry, normally we’re not gonna make it far. If he doesn’t have a sense of humor, we won’t go far either. Communication is key also, so if he’s not into me like I’m into him, my fall back is crucial conflict, lol. When dating someone new, you have to figure them out, and what they’re looking for, or anything at all. You also, have to figure out what bs they will be bringing to this situationship from trust issues to mama’s boy syndrome.

Dating someone from the past, you’re very familiar with them, and you know what bs they already offer. Some bonds are not easily broken, even though there were some very rough moments, sometimes you have to go through those moments to become a stronger couple. As a woman we sometimes hope that he will change, and grow up to be the man that we know he can be, or have envisioned. Normally when a woman dates a man, and gives up the goods; she has already planned y’alls wedding and the baby carriage from the start.

~P.O.V.