After watching the show Married at First Sight, I noticed a woman having to select from six different guys that she believed she was compatible with. Two guys stood out to me. One guy, a cop, expected her to play her role as a “woman”, and be submissive. The other guy finally revealed on this show that he was pursuing his acting career,so he didn’t expect much from her, yet. The young lady had to decide which two guys to send home. Now the cop was apparently a man looking for a “traditional” relationship, but obviously would be able to provide for them. The actor, was struggling while trying to break into the business, with no financial stability. You guessed it! She had better chemistry with the actor, than the cop. Now if she decided to continue things with the actor she would probably have to foot most of the financial side of the relationship, yet their chemistry was amazing. Would she be expecting too much if she asked the actor to get a job while pursuing his acting career?
Relationships in today’s society are too open to exit strategies. It’s like some women are waiting on you to fall short of what they feel you should be doing, so they can leave. On the other hand, it appears that many men can have a good woman by their side, but take her for granted, until after she’s taken them back several times. It depends on what a woman values; that will determine if she’s asking for too much.
When I meet a woman who says they’re looking for a partner, who she can meet half way, what actually does that mean or look like? I’ve heard things like: has a job, good family values, no kids. They’ve also shared that they want someone who is romantic and treats them with respect. In my opinion, none of those things listed are asking too much. I feel a man should take pride in making his woman happy by doing nice things on special occasions, or just because. However, a woman cannot have overly high expectations for her man, and not be in the position to reciprocate. How can you expect a man to bring “ABC” to the table, when you’re struggling at your “A”?
People have to be more realistic about what they are bringing to the table before overlooking someone else, because of what they might not have at the moment. Also, speaking from a male perspective, a lot of highly successful women have unrealistic expectations at times. There is nothing wrong with a strong independent woman, but you can’t get mad at a man for not being a man, when you’re also fighting for position as the man. A man has to respectfully let his lady be a woman, and a woman has to let the man be a man. That doesn’t make either party any less of themselves. There are some women who will meet you where you are and build from there. Then you have women who want you to have 1-10 together, and if you don’t then you don’t measure up. It’s no surprise that these women are typically single for longer periods of time. The excuses they normally use are, “there are no good men or they won’t settle”. You have to remember if we all started where we’re supposed to finish, then you yourself might have to step your own game up, and meet your own expectations first. Not all women expect too much, but I do believe some expect more than they’re capable of providing.
I over heard a couple guys saying women are too demanding. “They should accept what I have to offer, and not try to change the person that I am to fit her expectations.” Some women can be very demanding, and some are very low maintenance. I picture the very demanding being the Hilary Banks type of women. Those that expect her man to do everything her daddy did for her mom, which is not a bad thing. However, some men are just not wired like Uncle Phil, or did not grow up with their father to see how it’s supposed to be done. If her demands are considered to be too high; is she dating the wrong guy? Or is her mate afraid to step out of his comfort zone to meet some of the expectations?
I believe in every relationship you will compromise on something very significant, and something very insignificant. However, if the compromise is not changing you for the better, or is against your beliefs, that’s more so manipulation. Most women set mental expectations, that most men are unaware of from the beginning, like when you guys will “be official”, get married, have kids, etc. That’s more so wishful thinking at times. I think due to those unknown expectations they mentally put on their mate, it causes women to overreact, because things are not going as she envisioned. That’s when we would then verbalize our expectations of our mate.
I conducted a poll on Facebook asking what do women/men expect from their mate. Most of the women expect love, consistency, support, and communications. The other women’s expectations were a mix of social partner, protector, and affection. Support, encouragement, loyalty, and sexual activity ranked pretty high for the men. Their additional expectations were communication, cooking, cleaning, balance, and to just be cool. Both male and female expectations seem to be pretty similar and simple, but why is it so hard to fulfill those expectations? Is it a want? Or is it a will?